Eight unpopular Radiohead opinions

Have you listened to Radiohead’s new single “Burn The Witch?” If you’re such a Radiohead fan/hater than you bit on this clickbaity title, then most likely yes, you have. So, what did you think? Be honest, now.

“Burn The Witch” is fine. It certainly sounds like a Radiohead song, and it’s a lot better than what most bands put out after twenty years of relevance, but it’s nothing more than alright. We live in an era, however, of instant, inflammatory opinion-making, meaning it either has to be either the best thing ever or seriously the best fucking thing ever. But we shouldn’t judge so quickly, especially when the song has had less than 48 hours of air. Can’t we let it sink in before going insane?

I like Radiohead. If you don’t like Radiohead, that is fine. That being said, I have some thoughts I’d like to share.

“Paranoid Android” does not deserve to be written on your arm in braille

It’s not the greatest song ever made. It’s the fifth or sixth best song on their third best album. Unless you’re a robot, “Paranoid Android” shouldn’t make you feel anything other than temporarily impressed.

The Bends is dated

“High and Dry” is one of the best pop songs of the 90s, and “Fake Plastic Trees” still cries. The rest of it kinda sucks, “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” especially.

In Rainbows is underwhelming

It’s still very pretty! But when discussing the legacy of Radiohead fifty years from now, we’re not going to bring up how beautiful “Nude” sounds in a vacuum. We’re going to talk about how much we paid for the album.

The “1&10” playlist sucks

The 1&10 playlist uses some crafty ilerminaty logic to argue that OK Computer and In Rainbows fit like a puzzle when re-ordered in a certain way. But make no mistake: this playlist exists only because “Nude” begins on the same note where “Subterranean Homesick Alien” leaves off. The other twenty songs don’t make sense next to one another. Don’t fall for it.

Amnesiac is their best album

It’s like Kid A, only more bonkers.

Phil Selway is the most important member of the group

Yorke is a glorious singer and more than proficient piano and guitar man, and Johnny Greenwood is basically a full-time composer now. But there’s hardly a more enjoyable aspect of Radiohead’s music than their fascinating yet accessible rhythm section. Phil Selway is the man.

Muse and Coldplay do not sound like Radiohead

Maybe at one point Coldplay released a song that sounded a little like “Fake Plastic Trees.” And perhaps Muse once recycled an idea from “Like Spinning Plates.” Otherwise, they are two massively successful bands that found their own sound over a couple decades of hits and touring. They don’t sound great, mind you, but they definitely don’t sound like Radiohead, either.

They are still the greatest band in the galaxy 

Arcade Fire had their chance to steal the title, but 2013’s Reflektor was kind of a bummer. So for now, Radiohead retains the position they’ve held for the last fifteen years: the world’s preeminent rock ‘n roll people. No arguments allowed.

No arguments allowed.

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